I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired.

Literally.

I've been quite sickly for the past five years...progressively so, but as far as anybody had been able to tell me, I was perfectly healthy and as the jerk doctor told me last year, "it won't kill you."

Well, that's not entirely true.   Thanks for talking out of your ass though.

On the 17th, I had an upper endoscopy done and I expected to wake up and get a diagnosis...maybe have a dilation done and get some meds, and just live with a condition that I would have to monitor for the rest of my life.    Well, i woke up and had my world turned upside down.   I'm being a bit dramatic, but it was pretty devastating.

One thing you don't want is to wake up and have the doctor looking at you with a look of complete confusion and worry on his face.  I might have imagined all of that, but he was pretty confused.

What did he find, you ask?

Where do I begin...

Candida esophagitis...and I mean extensive infection.   The lower part of my esophagus was completely covered with yeast.  (I know this because they took pics and printed them out on the discharge papers.  cool, huh?)   This is usually found in immuno-compromised people, or people with achalasia, scleroderma, or sjogren's syndrome...basically people who are prone to infections because of low immunity or people who have esophageal motility issues.

Next, there were the numerous gastric and duodenal ulcers.  

Then, severe gastritis.

After that?    Not only did I have a condition called gastric antral vascular ecstasia (GAVE), or watermelon stomach, but my villi were flattened.   WHAT IN THE HELL IS GOING ON?!

Watermelon stomach is usually always only seen in people with scleroderma (and sometimes other autoimmune diseases) and chronic renal failure.  Flat villi?  Yeah, very Celiac like...

Oh, but wait...my biopsies that were taken during the procedure were normal.   aaaahhhhhhhhahahahaha

WTF is going on?   No.  Really?

I'm waiting on the results from all the blood tests ordered after they found all this foolishness.   I am baffled.  

But this explains all the pain I've been in for the past few months.

I spend my days now taking medicines.     And right now, I'm only on three because no one knows what's going on so they are only treating symptoms.

It's so scary though because watermelon stomach is usually a cause of GI bleeding and anemia.  A lot of people have to get transfusions and take iron injections.   I could have starting bleeding at any time.  If I didn't have the sense to leave that loser of a doctor that wasn't treating me, I might have would never have seen another specialist.

And it's nice to know that I keep losing weight because my body is starving because it probably cannot absorb any nutrients due to my villi being flat.  ugh.

I love it when people...fat people...call me skinny and say they are envious...fuck you.  How about that?  Fuck you.  

aaaaaaaaaaand before I forget...Propofol?   yeah,  it's pretty damn nice.  way better than demerol + versed cocktail.    Shit works fast and you recover way faster.    I'm a fan.